[Personally, I would’ve deleted the message, but everyone has different judgment calls.]

Here’s a screenshot of the girl’s comments on his Facebook wall.  Well actually, just an excerpt of it.  Mind you, he never really wrote anything on her wall.  And yes, he just started dating this girl.

After this incident, it just went downhill.  Guys like the chase.  It becomes a turn-off when the girl gets too aggressive early on, especially if the guy is not considering the girl as a fling.

If you’re a girl, don’t make the same mistake as her.  Some things are meant to be said privately.  USE EMAIL!  Don’t try to mark your territory by leaving tons of messages or inappropriate comments on public walls.  Instead of winning the guy over, you are going to lose him.  The same thing goes with guys, too.  Possessive or jealous guys are not sexy.

What do you think of the situation?  Have you had a similar case of territorial marking?

I understand there has been a shift in technology and many men have found it appropriate to text or email a girl to ask her on a date.  I don’t like to accept dates over these forms of communication because I feel it’s impersonal and not chivalrous on the man’s part.  However, I’m not going to lie, I have accepted dates in the past that came in the form of a text.  Does that make me a hypocrite? No.  I never said, “Never.” Plus, how would it qualify me as someone who doesn’t like something when she hasn’t even tried it?  So there, I accepted dates via text and I, particularly, don’t like it.

Why?  Well, it’s already tough going through the dating game process of figuring out what you should do to respond to each other’s actions.  Such as, how many days does a guy need to wait to contact the girl? Or, how many days or hours does a girl need to wait to respond back to the guy?  Ridiculous games that we all play to elevate the other person’s interest.  We all hate it, but we still do it.  Texting adds to the complexity.  It creates more games and higher possibilities of misinterpretations.  Emails are even worse than texting.

My buddy Jon didn’t believe me about the difference between calling, texting, or emailing.  This was our conversation the other day.

Jon:  I really like this girl and I want to ask her out on Facebook.

Me:  What?

Jon:  I want to email her on Facebook and ask her out.

Me:  Have you met her in person before?

Jon: Yes.

Me: Do you have her number?

Jon: Yes.

Me: Then, why won’t you call her?

Jon: I work in tech and the internet is my life, so she should understand that.  It’s me.  It’s who I am.

Me:  I’m sure she respects what you do, but there’s something to be said about a guy calling a girl and asking her out verbally.

Jon:  Ok, I’ll let you know.

A day or two after our conversation, we met up for lunch and he recapped what happened.

Me: So what happened with you and that girl?  Did you call her?

Jon: No, I Facebook messaged her.

Me:  And…..?!

Jon: She said, “No.”

Me:  Oh, Jon.  I’m sorry to hear that.

Jon (shrugs):  It’s cool…

I feel bad for Jon because he’s a good guy and any girl would be lucky to get his attention.  But what was he thinking?!  I know it’s tough being a male.  Having to be the one going out on the limb to ask a girl out and possibly getting rejected each time is not easy.  However, the fear of rejection is not a good reason to not call a girl.  If she specified that she likes to text or email, then you should be attentive to that; otherwise, give her a call. You’ll probably get a better chance of her saying yes on the phone and a better gauge of how she feels about you.  I truly believe that the next best thing to seeing a person live is hearing his/her voice.

If you’re a guy, what’s causing you to call or not call?  Or, why do you call, text, or email a girl?

If you’re girl, do you like one form better than the other?  Why?